a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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