I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
