no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
