Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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