White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
