It's Friday. Sex?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
