it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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