ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
