I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Another day, another engagement, another cat
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
