I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
