There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
