Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
