Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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