Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
