It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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