Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
