I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize