i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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