well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
