Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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