All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
