Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
