so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
