Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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