2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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