i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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