I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
