They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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