no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
