The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
