Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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