Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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