I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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