she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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