I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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