I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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