she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
