Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
