i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
