Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
