was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
