ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it was like eating out sand paper
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
