I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
