I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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