So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
