Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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