if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
