Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
