When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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