Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
