Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
