He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its not stalking. its research.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
