To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
