Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
