I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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