so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
