he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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