Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize