They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
