her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
