If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
